Expectations

"you can't always get what you want - you get what you need" The Rolling Stones

I think we sometimes feel a certain entitlement to things which we have imagine in our minds. Particularly when we feel we have put in a lot of hard work and even encouragement. And then nothing happens, or only a little of something happens. The important thing is to practice gratitude and try and change the energy around what we had hoped for. We can never forsee what is in store for us and more times than not, things have a way of working out for the better. I had hoped that a job prospect would work out to be more lucrative in money than it actualy is, but i am going with it anyway because it just came my way and I get to hear the stories of many different kinds people - who knows where this will take me. I did feel incredibaly disapointed at first and now I am trying to steady my breathing and realise what I have already in my life is enough. Enough. I have a healthy and loving family and we all live at the beach and my children love going to their school and my husband is happy in his work. We have beautiful and talented friends, I meet kind people every day and someone always smiles to me at some point in a day. Enough. sometimes I just breathe, look around, take in and breathe again. Everything will be ok.

Sustainability

An ocean...calm empty full all natural plastic real pretend...this is what we have today

Sustainability is a word we hear so often in our lives right now. Usually around the environment and what we can do to reverse or slow down he degradation. What I want to know is what sustains you? What sustains me? I am certain that if we asked ourselves these questions in our daily lives we would understand our interconnectedness with our natural worl around us.

We would learn that fresh food sustains our physical bodies, replenishes our taste buds and invigorates our passions. we would learn that clean water revitalises our brains and restores our blood and energy systems, and eases our nervousness and anxiety. we would learn that the only stimulation we require is given to us everyday by life, by the elements, by the birds who sing sweetly or bay loudly at us each morning, and by the clouds which sweep across our sky so light or heavy with forcoming. We would mostly leanr that it is our loving hearts and minds which we can communicate and listen with everyday which sustains ourselves and each other in all times.

Change the dream

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world" Oscar Wilde

When we try and shift an idea that we have had for a long time, it is very difficult. When we know that it is really important to move forward and change the direction we are going, it is crucial that we examin where we are beginning from in the first place.

Where do our ideas come from? Where do our patterns emerge? When the dream no longer fits, we need to change the dream.

I have started to really question my ideas, to look deeply at where these notions come from and I realise that these ideas are so deeply embedded, they are easy to miss. Ideas like I think stability means owning your own house, having a full time job, etc. And yet all around us people lose their houses, their jobs. This is not stability. I had a dream that when I grew up I would own my own house and live with lots of land around me and have a job that I went to every day. Now that I have children I want to be home with them and going into school and spending time with them so a full time job doesn't work. And we want to live at the ocean so owning our own house is questionable right now - but we can still live there.

The real dream for me is about freedom. The freedom to move and explore as I want to. The freedom to listen deeply to another's heart. The freedom to sit with my daughter as she reads to me on the boat and tells me all about her friends and their life at school. The freedom to understand my husband and the way he wants to communicate with me. The freedom to take my time. I am a slow learner. But this is now my dream. And when it is no longer relevant I will throw it out like all the rest. Precious and not.

Free your mind and the rest will follow ( yes that's all!)

I am woman hear me roar...

Sometimes we try to hide inside ourselves the very things which make us most appealing. The parts of us that really want to dance on the countertops when we hear Donna Summers singing 'hot stuff' on the radio in the local shop at 9.30 in the morning. Or maybe it's the part of you that wants to get out and go running or bike riding or skiing and you feel too ashamed of your present body or just can't work our how not to look ridiculous. 

I think of these shadows within us as our freedom fighters. The bits of ourselves that constantly niggle away at us hoping that one day we will crack and break out. The break out doesn't have to apear on national television or go viral on the internet. It just has to go viral within oursleves and embue our world with more colour and liveliness than we previously thought possible. 

A big shadow I have hidden is that I am a writer. I am getting it about with me more often now. It is with me at the shops, in the library, I am beginning to say it out loud and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Much more natural than when I rolled the die for roulette, surved beers on tap, poured ice water while taking a dinner order, etc etc etc. All of these were helpful and a way to make a living and extremely honourable at the time, but I had to convince myself. 

What will you do today, that you didn't know you would do? 

Beginnning Anew

And so we can begin again. This is the time not just for resolutions but deeply held longings to be revitalised and re-committed to for the New Year. What will you chose to pursue? How will you chose to live and in what ways can you leave the world in a better place by the end of the year?

Beginning anew means creating a spiritual practice i can follow everyday. To bring ritual and the natural elements into my life as a way of being. To reafirm my caring for our environment through continuing to reduce placetics, reduce buying pocessed foods - making my own, going vintage and recycling EVERYTHING. I want to spend time with the people who love and really care about me and my family, and who cultivate the kindness and generosity in me. I want to find time and space to dream and wonder. 

I want to believe.

May your year be one of wonder and delight and may you face the challenges of life with optimism and thoughtfulness. Happy New Year!